Book Recommendation: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*

We’re about a third of the way through January and I’d like to invite us back to this month’s theme, Self-Care. There are many articles, posts, tweets, InstaLives, etc regarding what self-care is and is not. A few key points that everyone seems to agree upon are:

  1. Self-Care is NOT simply a candle, book, and alone time
  2. A social support group is key (deepening meaningful relationships)
  3. Taking a moment to recognize if an activity is building you up or wearing you down

These points are woven in and throughout Mark Manson’s book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F* This book may already tell you what you know, but he also provides the WHY. The WHY we care, WHY we shouldn’t care, and WHY it’s important to make some changes if you want to move through life happily. It’s a dose of realism, not self-help. It’s tongue in cheek, but serious points within the chapters.

Take responsibility for everything!

We may not be responsible for what is happening or happened to us, but we are responsible for how we respond. You can take the stress out of your response, but always aiming for positivity itself is stressful. What’s the better response and more realistic approach to moving forward?

“With great responsibility comes great power.” The more we choose to accept responsibility in our lives, the more power we will exercise over our lives. Accepting responsibility for our problems is thus the first step to solving them.

Give a F* about the right things.

Is this meaningful to you? Are you wasting brain-space worrying/thinking about XYZ? You can only give a f* about so many things.

“Developing the ability to control and manage the fucks you give is the essence of strength and integrity.”


The “Do Something” Principle: Motivation


Oftentimes a task seems overwhelming or you’ve set the bar too high and you never do anything, therefore, you never feel motivated. But, you’ve just found yourself in a toxic cycle.
How do you find motivation?
Action–>Inspiration–>Motivation —> repeat

Manson states, “If we follow the “do something” principle, failure feels unimportant. When the standard of success becomes merely acting– when any result is regarded as progress and important, when inspiration is seen as a reward rather than a prereq- we propel ourselves ahead. We feel free to fail, and that failure moves forward.”

I chose to pull out these three points that we all grapple with on the daily. How do I find motivation, if nothing seems to be going right take responsibility for what you can and turning it around, and deciding if this worry is worth your energy.
Figuring out how to fine tune your reactions and responses to these questions can lead to greater insight into your well-being and how to happily trot through daily life.

How is your bingo card coming along? If you still need to download it, head back to this link and save the image to follow along.  This is where I’m at this month!Personal Self Care Bingo

If you skipped everything and just skimmed to the bottom, here is the takeaway:

Everyone has asked for a manual to life, living for dummies, how-to navigate life, at some point in time. THIS is the book that provides you the loose guideline you’ve needed. Unlike  when you’re putting together your IKEA table and end up with unexplained extra screws, Mark covers the bases and won’t leave you with more questions than when you started. 
I highly recommend this book, it’s a quick read that packs a punch.